Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Snowy Morning

I woke up this morning, opened the blinds and saw a gray sky.  My first thought was, "bummer, dreary day."  As my husband and I got ready for work, the snow started to fall and I immediately felt a sense of relief come over my body.  I even broke into a little dance.   As I was dancing, Matt was laughing at me and cheering me on.  Looking out at the snow, the sky releasing ice crystals, I felt a sense of release myself.  Thank you, beautiful sky.

Nature holds various mysteries and movement forms that, if we let them, can play with our emotions, alter our feelings and open our spirits.  And inspire a sense of spiral, twist and fluidity in the body.  Movement forms inherent in nature are also inherent in our own bodies.  Even our bones, which we often may think of as solid and linear, are full of spirals, curves and intricate designs.  It is challenging to relate to nature and our bodies in this way because we are so busy with our lives and it might feel a little strange to think about how we might relate to the branch of a tree.

Not to be too esoteric or abstract, try this:

Look out of your window, or step outside
What do you see?  snow falling, a bird perched on a tree branch, a small leaf shriveled up on a branch.
What do you feel?  Is the air cool, warm, breezy?  
What sensation comes over you as you either look outside or step outside?


Now, just be there for a moment.
Breathe in and breathe out
Let your heart float to the front of your chest
Feel your shoulders glide down your back
Claim your space and know that you belong there

Find a branch or a twig, observe its shape and texture--you don't have to be close, you can see it from far away. As I write, I am looking out of my window at the branches of a tree, swirling around each other.  I can't see the entire tree, but it appears that there are two trees meeting somewhere in the middle.  They weave in and out of each other.  There are lots of tiny branches sticking out.  Sharp lines reveal a more fluid shape, as I look at the bigger picture of these trees tangling around one another.

Despite occupying the same space, they are able to negotiate that space and make a beautiful and peaceful pattern in order to prosper and grow.  I see the curvature of each branch and how when something is in its path, it changes its course slightly, but refuses to stop growing.  A course may change, but it does not end.

When you move your body, when you interact with other people, when you meet a challenge in your relationships, find a piece of nature.  Know that you can be strong and soft at the same time.  Know that nothing is perfect.  Know that you are on a path that changes course, often unexpectedly, but there is reassurance in the possibility for change and growth.


This is a picture of the hyoid bone.  It sits between your chin and your thyroid.  It is the only bone in the human skeleton not articulated to any other bone.  The shapes and lines remind me of the delicate branches I see outside this morning.  Imagine it floating above the center of your organ systems.  Feel it suspended underneath your chin, in that soft place.  Allow it to open and relax your jaw and support your head and neck.  Notice the delicate shapes, curving lines, angles and mysterious shapes.

Yours in Motion,
Laura

Monday, January 17, 2011

Yoga and Pilates Classes

Hello to all you movers out there!

Melissa and Laura are back to offer a special on their Yoga and Pilates classes this Wednesday, January 19th.

  • Bring a friend and one of you gets to take the class for free, or you can split the $10 fee between the two of you.  
  • Or, take yoga and stay for the Pilates class for free (or vice versa).


Location:  Vitalize Studio, 2154 S. Highland Drive (right by Omar's)
When:  Wednesday, January 19th
4-4:55: Yoga w/ Melissa
5-5:55: Mat Pilates w/ Laura

Welcoming all levels.  Come move with us!  It's a beautiful space and a great way to start your New Year.

Calm

Lie down on your back--allow your feet to rest on the floor, or prop a blanket or pillow underneath your legs.  Be comfortable.  You could even be lying in bed.
Begin to breath into your belly--start to let your thoughts drift in and out of your mind.  Feel your heart rate start to slow down and a sense of relaxation come over your spirit.

Undertow.  Imagine standing on the shore of a vast ocean.  Listen to the whirl of the waves and connect that circular, swishing motion to your breath.  Your feet sink into the wet, grainy sand.  Water washes over and around you, giving you goosebumps and an immediate feeling of cool, calm.  As the surface of the water rushes past you towards shore, the water underneath pulls back to the sea, drawing you in and out at the same time.   Something pulls at your spirit gently, drawing you toward a deeper, more serene place---a place that you know well, but often ignore or suppress due to the stimuli that surround you.   Maybe this could be called your subconscious.  Your undertow.  Without worry, without judgement, what does it tell you that you already know?  Breath into this space and let it guide you toward something more mysterious, something deeper, something more connected to who you are at your core.

This sense of ebb and flow, of in and out, of coming and going is reminiscent of the transitory nature of our lives and it also can be helpful when we move.  Just as ocean water washes ashore and simultaneously pulls out to sea, your body does the same.  Imagine walking or standing up.  Feel your energy move up and out as your feet connect deeply to the floor.  You are always moving in multiple directions. Or, in moving through a Pilates bridge, imagine your feet like sponges, absorbing the floor.   Feel your tailbone lighten as if a helium balloon is drawing it up between your knees toward the sky.  Feel your shoulder girdle and crown of the head release and lengthen into the floor and toward the wall behind you.  Feel connected to the floor and open to your outer world all at once.

These ideas may help your neck feel more easy, your spine be more supple, your pelvic floor more expansive and toned and even your feet and ankles be more mobile and strong.  They may also hold a deeper significance--perhaps this underlying feeling of something guiding you to a new place can lead to greater peace of mind as well.  In other words, maybe we don't need to try as hard, but rather, experiment and withhold judgement.  This is not easy for anyone.  When you feel that inkling of anxiety creeping into your mind and body, bring your self back to standing on the shore of an ocean--feel the waves rush in and out as thoughts move in and out of your mind.  Let the undertow calm your spirit and renew your sense of self.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Growing and learning - Relinquishing control

Lessons in:
Growing and learning.
Relinquishing control.
Sometimes we don't have a choice.

On November 1, 2011 I found out that I was expecting!
My family and I were so excited.  Thoughts started pouring through our heads about how our lives were going to change. Our daughter Nell would soon have a sibling and quickly have to learn how to share her toys, along with our attention. We were organizing and getting rid of things we didn't need. Our  little house was going to feel even smaller and we were discussing ways in which we could get creative with space. I was looking forward to welcoming another baby into our family.  I loved feeling my body change and grow when I was pregnant with Nell and was excited to feel and see how this pregnancy would be similar and how it would be different.

The first two months of my pregnancy were great! I was tired and a bit nauseous but felt pretty good.
Around the 10 week mark I went in for an apt. with a midwife to discuss how my pregnancy was progressing and to discuss different birthing options. She performed a routine ultrasound to see if we could see our little one and say hello. She could see a sac but no baby. I was immediately worried and we discussed my options.
I left her office feeling sad and scared. I didn't want to do any type of invasive procedure and wanted my body and baby to feel supported and nurtured. After meditating and talking with family and friends, as well as medical professionals I decided to wait for a few weeks and then get another ultrasound.
In the meantime I had a dream about a third pregnancy and baby. There was no awareness or thought of a second baby in the dream, just a third baby.

On January 10, 2011 I went in for a second ultrasound with the help of my dear friend Dr. G.
We discovered that there was no baby in my uterus.
I was saddened and very curious about what had happened. I was supposed to have a little baby in my belly developing and swimming around.
I could even feel my baby moving around.
What happened? Why hadn't there been any sign of a miscarriage? No bleeding or cramping or any other sign that the pregnancy wasn't going well.
After speaking with Dr. G we came to the conclusion that I had what is called an anembryonic pregnancy or a blighted ovum. A yolk sac had developed but no baby.
My body released all of the normal pregnancy hormones and everything seemed "normal".
An  anembryonic pregnancy is one in which a fertilized egg implants in a uterus and begins to develop a gestational sac. The fertilized egg does not form beyond the sixth week and is usually absorbed back into the uterus.
We believe this is what occurred in my situation. Anembryonic pregnancies are usually linked to chromosomal issues. (There is plenty of research out there to check out on the web and elsewhere. Please do so if interested).
I have learned quite a bit about myself both physically and emotionally during this pregnancy.
I realize that there are many things that I can't control, no matter how much I want to.
I am saddened by the loss of this pregnancy but I also honor my body and it's innate wisdom.   It's ability to detect that something wasn't right and absorb the yolk sac back into itself is such an amazing feat!

I am so very grateful for all that I have. My daughter, Nell, is such a blessing and I am thankful for her each day. She continues to teach me how to see from a fresh perspective and how to let go of my need to control and approach life with curiosity and wonderment.
"Ohhhh!" and "Wow!" and "NO!"are some of her favorite things to say when seeing something new.

I am thankful for all this experience has taught me. It can be an isolating experience being a mother.  It can also be very scary having something go wrong during pregnancy and afterwards. I learned that so many women experience losses during and after pregnancy.

It is how we respond to our life experiences and learn to love ourselves and our imperfections that I'm interested in.

We are excited to continue trying to add to our already wonderful family.
Shanti, shanti, shanti!
Peace, peace, peace!
-Melissa

Friday, January 7, 2011

Daily Offering...quietly warming up to this

Sorry about the sound and audio delay. I'm working on making this a bit better.
Feedback is always helpful.
Shanti!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Sankalpa

This holiday season was a really special and unique one for me.  My husband and I got married in October and we spent our first Christmas together this year, just the two of us.  We had the opportunity to spend time with friends and a theme seemed to come up: closure and starting something new or renewing something old.  There was some talk of New Year's resolutions and even dinner toasts with the theme of thankfulness and gratitude.  There was also a sense of uncertainty, not knowing, transition and a desire to keep progressing, growing and learning and maybe even feelings of both joy and fear.  In conversations with friends, I realized how hard we are on ourselves--putting pressure on ourselves to achieve certain goals or progress to somewhere else.  And then, when we don't get there, we are left feeling disappointed.  There is a delicate balance between working hard and pushing yourself and just being grateful for what you have, where you are and who you are in this very moment.  Even if you happen to be really pissed off or sad.  I'm working on figuring this out and have decided that I'm never going to figure it out.  Figuring it out probably isn't the point.

With long conversations with friends on my mind and holiday warmth still sitting in my belly, this time of year brings to mind the yogic practice of sankalpa.  A sankalpa is a yogic philosophy or practice that means resolve.  This philosophy withholds that you are already are all that you need to be.  Wow, what a relief.  No, seriously, couldn't we all use this reassurance?  I know this is extremely challenging for me to hold onto--that I already am everything I need to be.  As Kelly McGonigal states in "Inspired Intention: The Nature of Sankalpa,"  to develop a sankalpa "all you need to do is focus your mind, connect to your most heartfelt desires and channel the divine energy within" (Yoga International).  Ms. McGonigal's article is really informative and inspiring; however, I find that focusing my mind and connecting to my heartfelt desires, let alone figuring out what those are is extremely challenging.  I feel like my heartfelt desires are in constant flux, to be perfectly honest.  But I love the idea of suspending disbelief, self criticism and even expectations to get to the heart of who we are.  A sankalpa practice can allow us to refrain from second guessing ourselves and simply believe that we deserve happiness, fulfillment and peace.

Ms. McGonigal states that a sankalpa can take two forms.  One is called " the heartfelt desire,  [which] is a statement that reflects your true nature" (45).  For example, I am at peace, or I am an intuitive and creative person.  A sankalpa can also be a specific goal or intention, which will help you to achieve small milestones that lead towards your heartfelt desires.

So, how do we figure out what our heartfelt desires are.  I'm not really sure myself.  I know that movement helps me, trying to be patient, kind and forgiving is also helpful.  Having faith in oneself and confidence also seems imperative, but all of these things are elusive.  Just because they are elusive does not mean that we don't have these qualities within us.  We are complicated--emotions, situations, experiences, etc. bring us a variety of challenges.  It's okay to be mad, get discouraged, be uncertain, but in those times, maybe we can all remember that we already are all that we need to be.  Even if we're not exactly where we want to be in life--perhaps there is a reason for us to be where we are right now, this very moment.  What if?  Right away, my mind goes to, well, no, there's no way I'm supposed to be doing this because of blah blah blah.  I am trying to work on asking those thoughts to just chill out for a moment so that I might be open to the space I am in at this very moment.  This acknowledgement can't really hurt me.  It actually can only help make me feel more at peace and perhaps open up new doors to new experiences and opportunities.

I am truly grateful that I have opportunity, experiences, family, friendship.

Radiance Sutra 88


        88

bhrantva bhrantva sharirena
tva ritam bhuvi patant
kshobha shakti viraamena
para sanjayate dasha 

Wander and wander to the point of exhaustion,
Whirl until you lose all control,
Dance until you are ready to drop.

Then Drop!
Fall to the earth. Surrender to the swirl of sensations
Surging through your form.
Dissolve in awe as arising energies 
Continue to dance in your inner world.

Beyond motion and commotion,
Become the body of ecstasy.


Read this today in my yoga class. It seemed appropriate as I was hearing my friends and myself talk about how tiring the holidays can be. We decided that the exhaustion typically comes from trying to be and make everything just so perfect. Here's to falling to the earth and surrendering. Beyond motion and commotion! LOVE IT!
My inner monologue today "Keep practicing, keep practicing, keep practicing. Laugh a bit more and take yourslef less seriously."  
Or as John Friend said in a workshop this summer "Be seriously joyful!"
Shanti!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Offering great classes Wednesday nights at Vitalize Community Studio in Sugar House!

Please come join us Wednesday nights!
Vitalize Studio 2154 S. Highland Drive in Sugarhouse.
FREE CLASS January 12, 2011!
Prenatal/Postnatal Yoga with Melissa
4:00-4:55pm Wednesdays at Vitalize Community Studio
Come move with me! 
Whether you are expecting or have welcomed your beautiful little one into the world, this class is for you.
This prenatal/postnatal yoga class will focus on connecting with your breath, strengthening and toning your pelvic floor, rediscovering your core, increasing overall strength, stamina and flexibility.
Get those feel good endorphins rushing by integrating your breath with your movement. 
Feel the benefits of taking time for yourself. Your family and your body will thank you! 

Pilates Open Level Class with Laura
5:00-5:55pm Wednesdays at Vitalize Community Studio

This open level Pilates class will focus on connection to breath and how this creates a sense of ease and also strength in the body.  Particular attention will be given to alignment, core stability, fluidity and mobility of your unique spine and body.  Participants will explore challenging, invigorating and restorative movement that draws attention to the intricacies of your moving body (your skeletal and muscular systems, in addition to your nervous and organ systems).  Come, explore movement, be challenged and restored as we explore how the pelvic floor supports our deep center, core muscles and organs, while allowing for mobility in the hips and lower back.  Whether you are an athlete, a yogi, Pilates fanatic, dancer, a new or expecting mother, a man or a woman, or simply someone looking for a healing and strengthening practice, this class will give you a strong foundation while also providing challenges and modifications for all ability levels and backgrounds.

Remember-FREE CLASS Wednesday January 12, 2011! 
Come check out the beautiful space at Vitalize Community Studio. 
We are looking forward to seeing you.